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Lawyer, n., One skilled in the circumvention of the law.
Lawyer: one who protects us against robbery by taking away the temptation.
Lawyers, I suppose, were children once.
I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.
Lawsuit n. A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
Attorney: the legal equivalent of a Nazi medical researcher.
I dislike speaking ill of a man, but I believe he who has just left us is a lawyer.
In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress.
The more laws, the less justice.
Roman Lawyer, Writer, Scholar, Orator, and Statesman
Judaism, Christianity, Islam, Hinduism, and many other religions demand that I believe.
Buddhism demands that I discover.
Scriptures, n. The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.
So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence.
Joyous distrust is a sign of health. Everything absolute belongs to pathology.
Which is it: Is man one of God's blunders, or is God one of man's blunders?
In heaven all the interesting people are missing.
If you talk to God, you are praying; if God talks to you, you have schizophrenia.
Religion is a monumental chapter in the history of human egotism.
Religion is belief in a supreme being. Science is a belief in a supreme generalization.
The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are generally the same people.
The Puritans left England for America not because they couldn't be Puritans in their mother country, but because they were not allowed to force others to become Puritans; in the New World, of course, they could and did.
With or without religion, you will have good people doing good things, and evil people doing evil things, but for good people to do evil things, that takes religion.
Attributed to Nobel Laureate Steven Weinberg
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| Chapter — Curmudgeon's Corner |
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